{"id":1027,"date":"2017-07-30T23:27:32","date_gmt":"2017-07-30T23:27:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/?p=1027"},"modified":"2018-09-04T01:56:41","modified_gmt":"2018-09-04T01:56:41","slug":"back-to-a-shrine-online","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/back-to-a-shrine-online\/","title":{"rendered":"Back to a Shrine, Online&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My passion for biography waned years ago, particularly regarding this True Life project. It&#8217;s like a form of burnout, and was probably due to a number of factors:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>In discussing the past with my sister, I was reminded of some very terrible times, and instead of seeing them objectively, like a reporter, I felt them <i>viscerally<\/i>. I had not really let myself feel them the first time around, and I became angry at my Dad all over again.<\/li>\n<li>I was happier in my present, and found myself less interested in discussing my past. I didn&#8217;t feel as <i>special<\/i> either, because I&#8217;d learned that my past suffering was really very minimal compared to some of the things other people suffered. I didn&#8217;t feel the need to get attention by telling my story. I didn&#8217;t even want my colleagues to know much about it. I had nothing to prove, and emotionally had receded a little&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>The novelty of writing &#8211; the excitement of calling myself a writer and of exploring the art form &#8211; had been lost. Been there, done that (or so I felt).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So over the past few years, the only writing I&#8217;ve done has been occasional journaling, or bits of short-form poetry online in Facebook, and a couple of brief short stories featuring my proxy, Jack Owen.<\/p>\n<p>But&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>A recent Google search on my own name (ego, thy name is John) led me to searching for my parent&#8217;s names, and then an old feeling started to resurface: I&#8217;m trying to keep them alive.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, I want to read about their story myself! I truly believe that the Internet is my go-to global memory, even as an extension of my own memory. Maybe I want to keep them &#8220;alive&#8221; online as a way to reconnect with them. It&#8217;s like visiting a gravesite. The stone is still there and will stand the test of time. Funny how the ephemeral Internet feels permanent to me. It&#8217;s a place where I can preserve the pieces I have. One day, I will forget things &#8211; I will lose the last of it. Some of my web pages might outlive me though. Maybe.<\/p>\n<p>As angry as I am at my Dad even 30 years later, I don&#8217;t want his name to disappear. He burnt bridges more than he&#8217;d ever have admitted, but he doesn&#8217;t deserve to disappear. My Mum died alone and largely forgotten in Riverview. How will she be remembered? By web-shrining their memories, how will I be remembered? Will I finally be the good son who kept the memories together, who tended the garden that they abandoned? I have no idea, but apparently the need hasn&#8217;t left me yet.<\/p>\n<p>In my online personal and professional life, I use Google like a mental scrapbook, a photo album, a repository. I started putting images and stories about them online in 1998, and I told myself a web-based shrine would help me to remember their stories as time passed and experience faded in narrative.<\/p>\n<p>I think I&#8217;ve just felt the fear of forgetting tap me on the shoulder. I&#8217;m still the only one who can tell my story the way it needs to be told.<\/p>\n<p>I should get back to it now&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"pdfprnt-buttons pdfprnt-buttons-post pdfprnt-bottom-right\"><a href=\"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1027?print=pdf\" class=\"pdfprnt-button pdfprnt-button-pdf\" target=\"_blank\" ><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-content\/plugins\/pdf-print\/images\/pdf.png\" alt=\"image_pdf\" title=\"View PDF\" \/><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1027?print=print\" class=\"pdfprnt-button pdfprnt-button-print\" target=\"_blank\" ><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-content\/plugins\/pdf-print\/images\/print.png\" alt=\"image_print\" title=\"Print Content\" \/><\/a><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My passion for biography waned years ago, particularly regarding this True Life project. It&#8217;s like a form of burnout, and was probably due to a number of factors: In discussing the past with my sister, I was reminded of some very terrible times, and instead of seeing them objectively, like a reporter, I felt them &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/back-to-a-shrine-online\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Back to a Shrine, Online&#8230;<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1027","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-history","category-memoirs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1027","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1027"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1027\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1300,"href":"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1027\/revisions\/1300"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1027"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1027"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ejohnlovebooks.com\/true-life\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1027"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}