I saw Curtis James outside Stadium Skytrain a few days ago. It had been months since I’d last ran into him, and it was a happy mutual recognition as we elbow-bumped and traded compliments on each other’s leather jackets. We talked about how nice the clear blue skies have been, and I asked him if he was still living in the same SRO.
“Yeah, it’s still the same old shit hole”, he laughed.

” Hey,” he continued, “did you know that Vancouver has an underground nu-clear power plant? That’s what those vents are coming out of the ground, across from the church.”

“Bullshit!” I heard myself say. What a character, I thought. “There’s a steam plant a couple blocks away that delivers high-pressure steam to heat buildings all over downtown. Maybe that’s what those vents are…”

“Nope,” he said, shaking his head adamantly, “those are underground cooling towers for a nu-cu-lar power plant! That’s where that steam’s coming from!”

He was sticking to his tall tale adamantly. I wasn’t going to convince him, so decided to play along. “Well, I don’t see any third eye in the middle of your forehead, so I guess you’re still safe, eh?”

“You kidding? Three-eyed fish are the tastiest!”